Honeymooning is a tradition that had its start in the 5th century. Newly-married couples would treat themselves to a honey-based mead drink to celebrate their first night and to create some sparks through the aphrodisiac beverage. Eventually, we got to where we are today where brides are expected to plan an entertaining and romantic wedding, as well as an epically impressive honeymoon. It can feel like a requirement of the wedding process and the initiation of marriage. But is it really that important to your relationship to have a honeymoon? For some, having a honeymoon is a must. But we think every couple is different, as are the reasons you’d have for not going on one.
Here are 5 reasons why you do NOT need to have a honeymoon.
#1 // You don’t even like traveling!
It can feel like our culture is vacation obsessed sometimes- every other Instagram feed features turquoise water, palm trees, or luxurious resorts. Couples smiling on a yacht as they drift into the sunset. What you don’t see is the all the time he spent suffering from the weird seafood at the resort buffet, and how self-conscious she felt posing for all those pictures in a bikini. There is so much pressure to travel and see the world, but the realities of traveling aren’t for everyone.
If you’re more of a homebody who enjoys getting takeout, playing board games, or eating out at the local pubs, then do that! Don’t put yourself through the torture of flying and staying in a hotel if that’s not your thing. Your honeymoon is essentially a time for you to celebrate your marriage and have some intimate time. You can do that anywhere (well, not anywhere), even from the comfort of your own home. Take off a few days after the wedding to shack up in your own shack. If you don’t have your own shack yet, go to a local hotel and enjoy one night out! There’s no rule that says you must be away for a certain number of days.
#2 // Honeymoons can be way too expensive.
Plane tickets and the honeymoon suite at a resort are two giant purchases most newlyweds can’t afford. Some couples are lucky to be gifted a honeymoon, or they saved for it with their wedding registry. Others aren’t as lucky and the pressure to go on an expensive honeymoon can result in starting your marriage in debt or with no money to put towards things you want together, like a house.
Why not save your pennies for the first year of marriage and then celebrate your one-year anniversary with a honeymoon? Spread out the excitement of getting married by planning and dreaming about your honeymoon the same way you were excited about your wedding the year before. This could mean an even better honeymoon then you would have had right after the wedding, because you don’t have the financial stress of splurging on it. Maybe you can even save up more than you expected and go somewhere extraordinary, or go away for a couple extra days. Don’t let the pressure of having an ASAP-honeymoon ruin your finances as a couple. It’s not romantic to factor in finances to the wedding and honeymoon planning, but it’s going to be a huge part of your marriage for the rest of your life. Start your lives together on the right foot.
Read this next! // 12 Simple Ways to Start and Keep Marriage on the Right Financial Track
#3 // You have a different big-purchase in mind.
While a week on the beach with your partner would be relaxing and fun, some couples would rather use that honeymoon fund on a different milestone. Many newlyweds use the money they collected for a honeymoon towards the down payment on their first house together, or on renovating their current home. There are even wedding registries that guests can give the gift of cash for a down payment. Being practical with your money is just as romantic as a honeymoon when you’re getting a walk-in closet and a 2-seater jacuzzi tub in your own house.
An even more practical way to spend the honeymoon fund is getting out of debt. Like so many couples in America, you might be entering marriage with lingering student loans and consumer debt. Wouldn’t it be nice to start fresh together? Treat yourselves to improving your credit score and getting collections off your back. It’s not as romantic as the beach, but it’s a way to honor your marriage and get it going in the right direction.
#4 // You’re ready to play house for real.
If you were counting down the days until your wedding so that you could finally call yourself a wife and begin living with your husband, a honeymoon can just prolong that desire even longer. For many couples, especially those who didn’t live together before marriage, sleeping under the same roof that belongs to you as a unit is thrilling. You get to wake up to each other, learn about each other’s quirks, start your regular routine together, and get it on wherever/whenever you want!
Even though a honeymoon is a wonderful way to celebrate and be intimate, moving in together can be just as great. Don’t torture yourself by going on an obligatory honeymoon for a week when you’re dying to start living as a married couple at home. Do what makes you happy together! You have the rest of your lives to travel and go on a honeymoon. Plus, you probably received a ton of awesome wedding gifts that are ready to decorate your home and be used. Enjoy your time playing house as a real married couple.
#5 // Life keeps going even though the wedding is over.
Not all newlyweds have the luxury of dropping all their commitments to travel after the wedding, especially if they already took time off for that. You may need to get back to work, or you may have small children that won’t understand if you disappear. Sometimes there are too many obligations and commitments to honor before you can take a vacation. For millions of Americans, getting back to work is crucial to afford all the expenses of your first year of marriage. And that’s totally understandable and acceptable. Honeymoon when it makes sense for you.
Plus, if you had guests travel to come to your wedding from far away, it would be polite to make their time worthwhile. Even though your wedding was the main attraction, consider spending time with those who put in the time and money to come to your big day. Reminisce about the how fun the reception was and how beautiful you looked walking down the aisle. The beaches aren’t going anywhere, but time with people who don’t see very often is.
Read this next! // The Top 5 Reasons to Have a Destination Wedding
Going on a honeymoon is not a requirement for getting married or initiating your marriage. You can have just as a romantic time at home that you would in a hotel room. You’ll even save money by not going on vacation right this second. Embrace being together wherever you are, and if you’d like to travel, you have your entire lives to do so.
Do you regret not going on a honeymoon? Let us know in the comments below.
Devon Funk is a writer at Broomstick! She's passionate about travel, learning, and petting dogs. When she's not glued to the keyboard, you can find her volunteering in her community and teaching others about saving money. Be like Devon & Apply to Become a Contributing Writer here.