As human beings, we've become so accustomed to focusing on the red flags in life, business, and relationships. Dissecting and becoming aware of the problem in our lives is important because it helps us gain clarity on what we really want thereby inviting the solution. But I believe it's equally important to praise the good stuff. To discuss and paint vivid images of the experiences and scenarios that do actually bring us joy. In other words, to focus more on moving toward pleasure rather than avoiding pain.
Those two are very different states. Very different frequencies. And so today, rather than emphasizing the problem, the warning signs and the red flags to watch out for in your relationship, how about we invest our energy in the good stuff. After all, in case you didn't know this, your mind only thinks in pictures. If you don't have a good vivid image of the beauty, love, joy, and companionship you wish to experience in your relationship, how can you ever hope to manifest one?
Creating and focusing on the frequency of the kind of marriage you would love to experience is therefore vital to the health of your marriage. Just as there are symptoms that lead to negative manifestations, there are also those that lead to positive outcomes.
Where attention goes, energy flows.
The more you focus on these the more you will attract similar or even better conditions into your married life.
8 signs of a healthy relationship that let you know you're on the path of wedded bliss:
#1 // There's an abundance of trust and a feeling of safety and security between the two of you.
Where there is no trust, no solid foundation can be laid. I have learned this the hard way. Trust is a big deal. Work on it daily. Learn to trust yourself and your partner. The more you can build this delicate yet all-important thing called trust, the more safe and secure you'll feel with each other producing the perfect atmosphere for all the other positive elements to flourish.
#2 // You share open communication about everything including sexual desires.
Open communication is easier said than done. In fact, there are many studies that have been conducted showing that most relationships fail due to poor communication. Allow your vulnerabilities, fantasies, hopes and dreams to be known by your partner without compromising your sense of stability and wholeness.
It's simple really...
If you can openly communicate with kindness and a loving heart to your partner, there's nothing you won't be able to overcome together.
#3 // You take full individual and personal responsibilities for your own happiness.
No one should be responsible for your happiness. You are in charge of ensuring your joy and bliss, not your partner. I cannot emphasize this enough. Most women have been misled to believe that it's the man's job to make you happy. Wrong! Your partner contributes and adds to the joy you already have. So if you don't have it, don't blame it on anyone else. And this works both ways. If you’ve agreed on this one point and seek out ways to continuously contribute to each other's happiness then long after the honeymoon phase is over you'll still be madly, passionately and crazily in love with each other!
#4 // You have great respect for each other's differences and often use them to your advantage.
One of the strongest signs that a couple is leading a healthy married life has to come from the above statement. Few are able to respect and embrace the flaws and weaknesses of another let alone their own. So if you're in a relationship where you feel vulnerable and strong in the presence of your partner - you definitely have a good thing going on. When your relationship is growing stronger and healthier, you will be more open and accepting of each other's weaknesses and even devise ways of using them in advantageous ways.
#5 // You both feel supported, encouraged and free enough to grow and reach for your dreams.
This goes both ways but it starts with you - don't forget that. You need to do your part to make sure your partner knows how much you support their ambitions and dreams. Often times we'll hear of wives who feel like they can't go after their dream job or set up a passion business because their husband wouldn't support it. This should not be seen as a normal thing for relationships. The truth is, a good healthy marriage will have room for growth. For both partners. But it takes two to make this happen.
Be more attentive to your spouse. Really take time to listen from the heart, encourage them in whatever they are involved in and let them feel you are always their number one fan. The best part is, they will naturally reciprocate without you ever asking.
#6 // You feel united and one whilst still maintaining individual personal identities
Do you ever wonder if settling down and being married will cause you to lose yourself?
If so, you're not alone.
However, this doesn't need to be your marital experience. It is possible to cultivate a strong bond built on trust and respect. Something so deep that often you can't tell where you end and your partner begins. And this applies to your intimate connection, as well as family affairs. What this doesn't imply is that you need to sacrifice yourself in order to attain this level of connection. If anything, the more you know who you are and stay grounded in the truth of your being, the more you will thrive as an individual and partner.
I know all your life you've been conditioned to believe that sacrificing yourself for other people was the best way to show you care or to prove that you are good. But a good healthy marriage doesn't require you to become invisible; it requires you to balance the state of being united and individual at the same time.
Take a moment now to notice how this idea sits with you. Does it feel easy to do or difficult?
Finding yourself and being wholly yourself in your relationship will bring you greater joy than self-sacrifice. That's the naked truth.
#7 // You feel emotionally, mentally, spiritually and physically understood, supported and connected with each other.
Sex and romance are obviously very important in any relationship. Passion cannot be left to die out in a marriage because part of enjoying a healthy relationship is being able to connect physically. But do you know there are other ways connect with your partner? A good healthy long lasting relationship will always nourish your body, mind, and soul.
I know most people aren't really talking much about this aspect of creating marital bliss but you know what? This is your marriage. It's not about what everyone else talks about. You get to decide what your marriage will look and feel like. I promise you if it feels good in the body, mind, and soul for both you - that love story will last a lifetime.
#8 // You challenge each other.
This is a tough one for many couples to get. I don't mean bringing drama and chaos into the home. I certainly do not mean rivalry. Challenging each other simply means you call out the best and highest version in your partner and they do the same for you. The best way to achieve this in a relationship is through continuous growth and evolution. Allow your partner, your marriage and yourself to enjoy the dynamic flow of life.
Make learning new things, trying new experiences and stretching beyond what you consider logical a priority in your married life. Don't just create static routine based lives, as that will dull out even your best sides. I know every man loves to be with a woman who challenges him and helps him step up his game and really live life on the edge. If you're that type of person then don't mute this out from your relationship. Infuse it. Integrate it in whatever way possible as you go about daily living and you'll soon find your partner grows fonder of you as the years go by.
Like a good rich scotch whiskey, your relationship will become an expensive treasure with every passing anniversary.
Final love thought…
It's important to know what you're looking for as an individual and a partner. Just as important as knowing what you want is knowing what you can give. Both these things require a different approach to the relationship especially in our modern times where distractions, disinformation, and conditional love are so pervasive. Preserving the wonderful sacred gift of love in your marriage will not happen by default.
You will need to be more proactive and foster an environment where love will flourish naturally. If you are walking this path wholeheartedly with the love of your life then many of the signs mentioned above will already be present. If some of them are missing and you wish to integrate them, now is your chance to start making some positive changes. There's a lot that we can do to help, just reach out if you need support getting there. But what I would love to hear from you is an extra tip you would like to add to this article.
Are there signs you have noticed in your relationship that you'd like other brides to know about?